Two weeks ago I had a crazy weekend. I had four hours of free time, and that was spent doing productive things. On Saturday I got up at 6am because I had to go to the cross country league meet, then I went to help out at the haunted house for eight hours, then I had to go to the team sleepover. On Sunday I picked up hair dye, applied to college and dyed hair with the cross country team. I did not get a lot of sleep.

But back to the cross country meet, we ran at 9:30, and I ran horribly, but we still won the meet. We were league champions again, so that’s the sixth year in a row.

And honestly, that’s really impressive. We have been undefeated league champions for six years. Our team has not lost a meet in six years. I have never lost a meet in my four years of running in high school. That’s insane! I can’t wrap my head around it. The tragedy is, that I really don’t think we deserve to have won. In the years prior, we were always so excited. We were proud, we were happy, and our energy when we won would be super high. We wanted to win. And we still do, but now we expect to win. Other teams want to beat us more than we wanted to win. All I personally felt after leading my team to their sixth victory was relief. I should have been pumped, but instead all I felt was a wave of relief. I don’t know what would have happened if we had lost, but it would not have been pretty.

I think our team is just really tired. We have been working toward this since the end of June. I held captains practices nearly every day, we followed the schedule that our coach sent us to the letter, and we went to running camp. Running camp was honestly one of the best weeks of my life, and definitely the highlight of my summer. (That sounds sad, and non-runners would hate it, but its a week away from home where you get to hang out with your team for a whole week. It’s so fun!) But by now we expect to be able to preform better than we have been, and it feels like all of our work was for nothing. We are giving up. We need a break. And we can’t have one because the state qualifier meet is in two weeks and we need to be ready for it. We’ve taken second at this meet (in division 1) for the last 5 years. The top three teams in the division go to states, and we want to make it 6 years. In order to do that we all need to have a good day. We take it one meet at a time, but there’s never any time to celebrate your achievements after they happen. The cycle is wearing on us.

After the league meet, I had to go help out at the haunted house because I’m a part of student council. Maddie Prechtl and I ditched the first hour of setup though. We went to get smoothies because Maddie was really upset with her race. Then we took a nap in my car because we were tired. We worked at the haunted house from 1pm to 8pm. It was exhausting and we weren’t allowed to leave, so we sat under a blanket hiding in the corner of the tennis courts eating food we stole from concessions.

After that, we both went to the team sleepover at Hannah Webb’s house. That was super fun, but we didn’t go to bed until 5am. We had a lot of sugar and caffeine. The energy at the sleepover was low though. We were all very tired and disappointed in our performances, but as long as we didn’t talk running it was a really fun time.

The next morning I went to pick up hair dye. Since we won leagues we have to dye our hair because we have a chance at making states.

When I finally got home it was 1pm on Sunday. I had 5 and a half hours before I had to be at Kimmie Harding’s house to dye hair.

In that 5 hours, I had to do my math homework, finish my scrapbook, eat dinner, and apply to college.

I have to add that I thought I would feel different after applying to college. I thought I would be a little less stressed because at this point I can’t do anything else. They either accept me or they don’t. But for some reason, I’m more stressed than I was, so that’s fun. Can’t wait to hear back in December. Also I did the whole thing on naviance where I say “submitted my application” but guidance hasn’t sent my letters and such so that’s also fun.

The hair dying turned out really well, and we have extra dye in case we need to re-do it.

We will have to re-do it actually. My hair is pale blue.

Apparently I’m supposed to blog about how great this class is, so here we are. At least it’s only 500 words so we don’t have to suffer all that much. I’d like to think that the fact that I took this class again speaks for itself, but my other options weren’t all that great to be honest. I mean, my other choice was Design 2, and having never taken Design 1, that wasn’t ever really an option to begin with. And I hate yoga, but I’m taking that again. But that’s only because the other choice was the Latin elective and I knew that yoga would probably require less effort.

I have to say that at the beginning of the year I was hesitant to take this class. It fit in my schedule, so I figured why the heck not, but I also had no idea what I was getting into. It ended up being the only class I actually enjoyed. I knew what I would be doing in every class, and the blogging actually turned out to be pretty fun. It was the one class I knew I didn’t have to worry about, and that was invaluable in a time when I was extremely stressed about college and stuff. Now that I’ve all but finished my applications, I took the class again so I could actually enjoy the assignments rather than just get them done. Workshops aren’t that bad either. Personally, I volunteered to have a piece of mine work shopped, and I found the experience to be immensely beneficial. The feedback I got from the work shop was helpful, but so were the individual edits on personal copies. It also helped that I knew I was going to be work shopped. It sounds terrifying, but it doesn’t suck as much as you may expect.

I have to say though, whatever you do, don’t be like Austin Drake. Love him to death, but he did not like writing. Every week he struggled to get things in on time, and he fell very behind on blogs. He wrote some really weird ones though. One was on Fetal Cannibalism.

That’s one of my favorite parts of this class. You can write a blog about whatever you want. Most of the time. Sometimes there are required dudes like this one, but I’m done with that now so I’ll be moving on to an unrelated topic.

I made a cake for Spanish class but only about a third of it was eaten so that’s sad. I can’t eat it because it contains gluten and tragically I can’t eat gluten because it makes me sad. I would offer it to the people in this class, but I know some of them have allergies and I don’t want them to die, so I won’t. If anyone reads this and decides they want some cake they can go for it. It’s chocolate with cream cheese frosting and under the tinfoil there are knives. Go crazy.

Time for a nap I guess.

I’m pretty sure this is not common knowledge, so I shall educate the public. You can buy 40,000 avocados for $100,000 and I just wanted to say that. So that’s the fun fact for the day friends.

I don’t honestly know where this was going. I started this blog just really excited to talk about avocados, but then realized that I actually have very little to say. I don’t want to re-start though. I think the world needs to know that you can buy 40,000 avocados with $100,000. You could go to college for two years or give every starving African child one avocado. The choice is yours.

Also I’m feeling very self conscious today because the cross country team voted on spirit yesterday and they decided on cowboy spirit, but nobody else wore cowboy stuff. So here I am, looking ridiculous for seemingly no reason. I have a cowboy hat and everything, but without the rest of the squad I just look like a Texas Lesbian, so that’s fun. Not that Texas lesbians are necessarily bad, I just can’t pull off tucked in shirts and large belts. Honestly it would be a lot worse without the hat, but still, you won’t catch me dressing like this ever again.

The picture featured above is a tragedy. Definitely one of the worst pictures I have ever taken. @ joy if you’re reading this, there is something just for you at the end of this blog. I know you will enjoy it 🙂

But let’s analyze this outfit, shall we? First we have the cowboy hat, of course. Not much to say there, it makes it pretty obvious what I am trying to accomplish here. Next we have a flannel, buttoned all the way up and tucked in. This could either be a lesbian look or cowboy, and it could really go either way, so not the best decision. The bandanna does match the outfit, and also says cowboy though so that’s good. And we have a belt that has a large buckle because also cowboy. I pulled it off pretty well, but it would be helpful if other people did too. I now cannot wear this flannel ever again, but sacrifices must be made.

I don’t know how many people have ever listened to the song Cowboy by Kid rock, but that’s what dressing like this is making me think of, so now that song is stuck in my head. And it’s not even a good song. It’s actually really terrible, so I wouldn’t recommend listening to it if you have any dignity. If that’s your favorite song, I’m sorry I guess, it’s not the worst song ever. I’m An Anarchist Baby is probably the worst song ever, and I sure hope no one except for me has ever heard that monstrosity.

I’d like to mention that I listen this a lot of music because it’s funny. A lot of the songs I listen to regularly I listen to because something about them struck me as t crazy to pass up. Take Cowboy by Kid rock, it’s so weird that it’s hilarious. At the start there’s this robot voice that says “cowboy” and that’s the funniest thing. In Hello Kitty by Avril Lavigne she says “meow” in the middle of the song, and when I heard that the first time I lost it. I think Joshua by Dolly Parton is hilarious because I’m friends with Josh Booth, and literally anything by Pitbull is funny. So is Cheeseburger in Paradise by Jimmy Buffett. I love that song, but it is so funny to me because this guy decided to sing about a cheeseburger!

For those who may be concerned about my well being, I do listen to normal person, serious music too, but when I want to have a blast I just shuffle my prank music playlist. It’s always fun to see peoples reactions when they hear seemingly unrelated music in the same playlist.

This last bit is dedicated to Joy Wilson. She took a terrible picture of me in my cowboy get up as payback for something I texted her. I did not want to make it so everyone had to see this, but I don’t see any way around it. I would like to apologize in advance to the public. But now,everyone please behold the excellence that is this cowboy, you’re welcome.

I don’t know what this blog is, but I think it’s really just an excuse for me to procrastinate on the other things I have to do. Don’t forget, you can buy 40,000 avocados for $100,000 and I am a cowboy in love with Lily Huff.

A Sea Pickle is Something to Be Cherished

Some point last week I decided to create a new blog post and title it “Sea Pickle”, as demonstrated above, but that’s all I put.

So here we are, about four days later, in a bit of a predicament. I don’t remember why I decided to title this Sea Pickle. I know what I am referencing of course, but I have no idea why me of the past would want to blog about it. I mean, I literally just wrote Sea Pickle, saved it, and then left it. I don’t understand.

Now to explain “Sea Pickle”, Sea Pickle is something I thought was the funniest thing one night at Josh Booth’s house when I was hopped up on sugar. We had a gallon of apple juice and then went to play Minecraft in his room. Now sometime between me in the kitchen and me sitting down on his couch (which was a significant bit of time honestly, because his room is two flights of stairs above the kitchen) I went from calm to crackhead. We started playing a Minecraft adventure map, and we were sent to the moon to harvest space plants, which I thought was hilarious. On the moon, the gravity was weird so you could float and make items float, and the plants we had to harvest were sea cucumbers. But I couldn’t remember the word for sea cucumber, so I called it a sea pickle. This is where things got crazy. Not only did I think the word Sea Pickle was hilarious, but I also threw them as high and far as possible, watching them float to the ground. While Josh was busy completing the mission, I was running around, cackling, and throwing the “sea pickles” as I went.

That was a crazy sugar high, but I don’t know why I wanted to write about it.

But there we go, that was Sea Pickle. After we completed the sea pickle mission we watched some more Great British Baking Show because we decided that watching the Conjuring for the 19th time wasn’t a great choice.

I also have no idea where this blog is going because I’m done talking about Sea Pickle and I don’t remember what I wanted to write about.

Okay let’s discuss Josh Booth’s dogs because I hate one of them but the other one is okay. When you drive into Josh’s driveway, his dogs will run at your car. This is incredibly stupid of them, but they do it anyway. What you must do in this situation is drive full speed ahead with no regard for their well being. They will move out of the way. This is the most terrifying thing I have every experienced.

I am a lover of all animals and I do not wish to cause them harm, but if you try and wait for the dogs to go away, they won’t. The only solution is to pretend they don’t exist.

But this is not easy because they are chasing your car or running in front of it.

I have a mini heart attack every time I drive to his house.

But the dog that I hate is Conner. I know I said I’m a lover of all animals, and I don’t hate Conner, I dislike him more than Blue though. But his name is Conner. And also he likes to jump on my car and get it all scratched. He’s also so annoying because he barks so much. Also he won’t eat out of a bowl. He requires his food to be placed on the ground. Which is so dumb. But the real reason I dislike him is because he knocked me over once, which spilled my apple juice. I love apple juice, and I will never forgive him.

The other dog is Blue, and she’s nicer. She’s more sensible, like a middle aged woman. Conner is a psycho twenty year old on crack. Blue is better because she doesn’t charge the cars. She runs at them, but from a small distance behind Conner so as not to be killed. Which is smart of her. Also she likes to eat out of bowls and she never spilled my apple juice so I still respect her.

My friend Cecilia Cronin has a bird that she named Se7en. This poor bird deserves so much better than what it gets. I’m pretty sure Cecilia hates it. But many times I have gone to her house and she and Josh have played the game “put the bird in the microwave” for a couple of hours. I would not be surprised if the bird was eternally traumatized from this experience.

A Sea Pickle is Something to be Cherished

I am a Creepy Stalker Person

I will be honest and say that I don’t know Lily Huff all that well. We haven’t really ever had a real conversation, and I’m 90% certain that this is the first class we have had together. But she is some sort of a celebrity because I have known who she was since she was a freshman and didn’t bother learning peoples names until last year.

That being said, I think she’s super cool, and I love coming into class and just staring at the back of her head all day. (That last bit was a joke, I’m not actually that creepy) But I do read all of her blogs, because they’re hilarious. This was all covered in the love letter I wrote her on Friday, so if she decides to read this blog I don’t think any of this intro information should come as a surprise. Out of context this does sound insane, but the love letter thing is totally normal and I think everyone who reads this will understand anyway so it doesn’t even matter.

But the real point is that while I admire Lily Huff and her awesomeness from afar, we have never been close. So it is unsurprising that I do not follow her on any form of social media on any platform except for this one. What is surprising however is what I found while scrolling through my camera roll, trying to find something to write a blog about.

I was just scrolling, minding my own business, trying to find anything remotely humorous that I could potentially write about for seven hundred and fifty words, when I came across some absolute gems. (I would put them in here but wordpress hates me and rejected them)

These gems as I described them, are two videos of Lily Huff, from different times in her life, both from what I believe to be her finsta but honestly I am not sure. Of course when I saw them I knew it was an excellent opportunity. Not only could I write an entire blog about the love of my life, Lily Huff, but I could also seem extra creepy because I wrote her a love letter on Friday! That is too good to pass up, so here we are of course.

Now as we have discussed I do not follow Lily Huff on any social media platform other than wordpress. So how did I get these videos? I have to say I was completely bamboozled, until I watched the second video. The first video was merely a screen recording, and besides the fact that the person I received it from must have followed Lily Huff on Instagram, there were no helpful clues as to who this person could be. But the second video, that was a whole different ball game. The second video shows a hand holding two phones, both in sync, both playing the same video recorded by Lily Huff. At the end of the video, the camera turns away from Lily Huff, to show us the other love of my life, Josh Booth. After this, everything made sense. Of course Josh would be the one to send me something so completely random, the mystery was solved.

But also the mystery wasn’t solved because how did the videos get on my phone? Clearly Josh Booth was the one to do it, but I don’t remember it happening. At some point, on July 30th, Josh Booth sent me videos of Lily Huff and saved them to my camera roll. But the real question is why did he do this?

Honestly I shouldn’t even be surprised. Josh Booth sends me the strangest things, but usually the strange things are related to me, not other people that we do not really know. So I’m sorry Lily Huff, but I have two really random videos of you on my camera roll. He probably just thought the videos were hilarious (which they were, because this is Lily Huff we’re talking about), but now I seem like some insane person because not only did I write her a love letter, but I also wrote a blog about how I have videos of her on my camera roll, so that’s fun.

But you know what else is fun? Lily Huff and Joy Wilson and some other people also like to play Hide and Clap, which is super cool because Josh and I play Hide and Clap all the time because of the Conjuring. That has literally no relation to anything else in this blog, but it was a fun fact.

Lily Huff is one of those people that you wish you were best friends with because they’re just so cool. Being friends with her just seems like the best time, and this is totally not helping my claim of not being creepy, but I promise I won’t try and murder her in her sleep or anything.

• 

I chose to insert this image in place of the two videos I have because this blog cite doesn’t let you put in videos and it made me angry. But I needed something, so here we are.

So yeah, I now have three items on my camera roll from random moments in Lily Huffs life and I’m still not exactly sure how they got there. I promise I’m not totally insane, I just appear to have a weird fascination with Lily Huff. I probably should not put this on the internet.

I’m not sure what season

Okay so this is a quick 180 from my usual horror topics, but I needed a break from the gore, so here we are. I’m not sure what season I’m watching exactly, but according to Josh Booth, the knower of all things, it is the best one. And he’s a credible source so there you go.

I just looked it up and I am watching season 5, and let me tell you I love this show. I will also mention that I am a terrible cook and baker. More often than not when I’m in a kitchen I burn myself or what I’m making or both. I’m a hazard. So I watch this show because the contestants are hilarious.

Now season five began with twelve contestants, and we only really care about six of them, but I wanted to start by mentioning the twelve contestants for one reason. That reason being that the first person eliminated was named Claire and I thought that was funny because I also suck at baking. She was infinitely more talented than me of course, but she was still eliminated first.

Now for the six people we care about. First we have Norman. Norman is honestly just the worst ever. He doesn’t challenge himself. He just does super simple easy bakes compared to everyone else, but he does them poorly. I don’t understand why he was kept for so long. (spoiler he is eliminated. Sorry if you watch the show and like him, but also this is season aired forever ago so that’s your fault.) He’s also so annoying and makes me want to gouge my eyes out every time he speaks.

Next we have Richard, who doesn’t suck. He can be pretty cool at times, but I do not like how much the judges like him. He did really well one week and then they just swooned for the rest of the time. I don’t get it. He’s not that good. Chetna is way better.

Speaking of Chetna, she is super cool. She’s the only one who doesn’t have an English accent and her hair is fantastic. She’s also super talented and not at all annoying. She’s my second favorite person on the show.

My first favorite person though is Martha. Martha is 17 and a way better baker than I will ever be. She is the youngest person to compete on the show, but she keeps winning the technical rounds even when she hasn’t baked the thing before, and I think that shows insane talent. Especially since she’s the youngest. She’s also not at all annoying and is totally underrated by the judges. Tragically she doesn’t win though.

Next we have Louis who I don’t have much to say about. He is also underrated by the judges, but so is pretty much everyone because they fawn over Richard who literally doesn’t deserve it. But I don’t have much else to say about him.

Finally we have Nancy. Now Nancy is not my favorite, but she is very talented and is probably the best baker there. She therefore does not need my support because she is just that awesome.

Each episode consists of three rounds. In the first, they make a specialty bake. They all get to choose what the bake within that weeks theme and it is something they are allowed to practice for a whole week, so it should be pretty good. Next they have to do a technical, which is something they don’t get to practice. The judges give them a recipe that is very minimal for something they most likely have never baked before and they are told to bake it. It is to test their knowledge of baking, which I think is super cool. Last they have a showstopper, which is a big bake of something they had the chance to practice. After these three rounds someone is eliminated.

The reason I watch this show is because they don’t have real problems. In the last episode I watched they were all stressed about making European cakes. That’s not a problem! I get that they don’t want to be kicked off the show, but making a bad cake is not going to cause the world to end. And they are all exceptional bakers, so their “bad” cakes would probably be delicious anyway.

It is so refreshing to watch them get so stressed about something that has close to zero impact on anything important in their lives. Norman once got so very upset over fridge space. I mean what? Who are these people? Who does that? It’s quite fascinating honestly.

I’m over here all stressed about school, and Chetna, love her to death, is over there stressed about whether or not she is pouring milk too fast. Isn’t that crazy? I wish my only concern was how fast I was pouring milk.

Death is Not an Escape

This is not a short story or anything, and I’m honestly not sure where I’m going with it, but here we are. Dead By Daylight is a video game that I play with my friend Josh Booth. We play almost every night for about an hour, and it’s one of the best parts of my day.

As you may assume from the title, the game is not of the sunshine and rainbows type. Instead, it is rather bloody and disgusting. In my opinion, it is the greatest horror game ever, but you don’t have to agree with me.

The game is one that must be played online. Some people choose to play as a Killer and some choose to be Survivors, and each match that is played has one Killer and four Survivors.

The Killer is trying to find and hit all the Survivors twice before placing them on hooks to be sacrificed. However, the hooked survivor is not killed right away. In order for them to die, they must either be hooked three times or left on the hook until the timer at the bottom of the scream runs out.

The Survivors need to work together to complete generators to open the exit gates and escape. Generators are loud though, and it’s a lot harder than it sounds to escape. Survivors must try and keep each other alive by unhooking and healing their teammates, and staying away from the Killer.

There are a number of different Killers, all of which have their own abilities, and there are a number of perks that a Killer can use to give them an advantage in the game. Since each player is unique, the Killer they choose to play as, along with their perk builds and playing style make each game a new and different one.

That combined with the number of perks you can play with as a survivor, it is hard to get bored while playing this game.

Personally, Josh and I play as survivors. Entering a game while being able to talk to each other is a huge advantage too, but at the same time you die more often than you escape. The goal sometimes isn’t to escape either. Depending on what type of killer you get or how good the people you are playing with are, the goal may be to get just one person to escape.

I have quite a few survivors that I have gotten to level 50 (meaning that they have a lot of perks and other items that I can use during games) but I personally play as a survivor called Claudette. She doesn’t give any advantages, like a speed boost, or anything like that, but she is the character that I started playing as and she is helpful for another reason.

This is not my Claudette, but the image helps demonstrate what I would like to say. She is practically invisible on many maps. The Claudette I play as, has the bloody shirt and some dark burlap bag like pants and there have been many times where I could hide from the killer using this pseudo invisibility cloak.

I personally play with a perk called Iron Will, making it so when I’m injured I don’t make any noise, and that combined with being difficult to see, makes it easier to stay hidden.

This is just one playing style though. I prefer to stay hidden until needed. I do the generators while my friends distract the killer and such. That’s why the group I play with works so well. Some distract, some do generators, and if necessary we can switch rolls.

The Survivors are the more boring part of the game though. They all have their personal perks, but once you have them unlocked, they can be shared through all of your survivors. Really, the only differences between them are what they look like. The Killers are the cool part of the game.

There are currently 17 different killers, all with their own back stories and perks to go along with them. These perks can also be shared between Killers, so that’s kind of irrelevant, but each of their individual abilities are super cool in their own way.

I’ll probably end up talking about all the Killers, but my personal favorite is The Hag. Her name is actually Lisa Sherwood, and she looks super gross and creepy. Lisa was trained by people in her village in spells and potions and a sort of voodoo, but she was kidnapped by cannibals. Eventually, after they had eaten enough of her flesh, she was able to slip out of her shackles and escape. She wandered into the forest never to be seen again. She is able to lay traps that pop up and startle survivors, sending her a notification and allowing her to teleport to it if she is close enough. I prefer playing as the Hag, I’m not sure why. I just think she’s fun.

But the other Killers are also pretty cool, so this is to be continued…

Bathsheba

As we were discussing in the pervious blog, Officer Brad had exited a bathroom from a door that had previously not existed. But this is now irrelevant because we have moved on. After everyone has calmed down from the scare they received from Officer Brad, a bell rings again.

This time, it’s Cecilia sleepwalking. She walks up the stairs and into Sophias room, when the door slams. Of course, everyone then screams and runs up there trying to get in and save her, but when they open the door, she’s gone. The room is also super cold, which is weird.

When they find Cecilia inside a giant closet thing that I forget the name of, Lorraine thinks it would be really smart to crawl through the weird door they find. Of course she then discovers an old noose and some toys, before promptly taking a tumble down, through the house and into the basement.

Now let’s just take a pause here and discuss the fact that Lorraine just fell three stories. Onto cement. How is she still able to move around? She should have broken something. Her fall was broken by wood.

But let’s continue. Lorraine is then scared by a lady hanging and covered in blood who was saying “she made me do it”. Lorraine then runs out of the basement declaring that “she possess the mother to kill the child” before Bella is ripped by the hair accross the room.

After that night the family leaves the house and goes to a motel, in the hope that Bathsheba won’t follow.

Bathsheba does not leave them alone of course, cause she’s evil. She possesses Stephanie and makes her take Francesca and Claire back to the house before she tries to kill them. Lorraine is able to use her super clairvoyant powers though, and combined with Ed doing an exorcism, Stephanie is freed of Bathsheba and no one dies.

Now there is also a lot that was left unsaid to un-pack here, so let’s get cracking.

Of course the first thing is why the heck that lady was named Bathsheba in the first place. Like she was an real person from history. She is not proven to have sacrificed her own child to Satan, but she could have. I mean, what parent names their kid Bathsheba? That’s like saying “oh lol this girl is going to be a really ugly witch lady when she grows up”. I mean come on, with all the normal person names they could have chosen, like Pearl or Esther or literally anything that wasn’t Bathsheba. That’s something you name a person that worships Satan and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Maybe her parents worshipped Satan too? That would explain why they named her Bathsheba. They knew they were going to raise her to worship Satan so they figured they might as well give her the worst name in the history of names.

But the fact that the movie making people didn’t change Bathsheba’s name really says something.

Next we shall discuss Me, or rather Claire from The Conjuring. Now in the movie, there is a scene showing me and Bella sleeping. What is weird about this scene you might ask, well I forgot to mention that my feet were out from under the covers. Yes, my feet were sticking out over the edge of my bed.

I’m sure everyone can see the problem with this, I mean for one, how are my feet not freezing, but for another, everybody knows that the evil things under your bed can’t get you if your feet are under the covers. That’s something every child learns by the time their three. The monsters can’t get you if you’re completely under the covers. Fact.

Now this may be considered less weird if she was just sleeping there, I mean, maybe she was a little too warm or something. But no. In this scene, Bathsheba pulls her feet. She’s peacefully sleeping with her feet out and then Bathsheba pulls them. Twice. Now why wouldn’t she put her feet back under the blanket? A demon lady is pulling them! Put them back!

Then of course a ton of other stuff happens, and I’m stuck in my room with Bathsheba and Bella and there’s a lot of screaming. But honestly, all I had to do was sleep with my feet under the covers. Then Bathsheba wouldn’t have been able to pull them and wake me up. Such a simple thing.

I don’t want to write any more about The Conjuring. I love it, but I’m bored.

Let’s be honest, we all knew this would be a series

At the beginning of every movie in the Conjuring Universe, there is a disclaimer stating that the movie is based on a true story. If you were interested and wanted to research more, you would find out that this is in fact true.

Ed and Lorrain were real people that made a living off of hunting ghosts and writing books about those experiences. They had several notable cases, two of which being the Annabelle case and the Perron family case. The Conjuring was based off of the Perron family case, and this would be clear if I had actually remembered what the people in the family were named.

The real life Conjuring experience occurred in Harrisville Rhode Island. The Perron family really did movie into a house that was haunted, and Ed and Lorrain Warren really did work on a case there.

The main villain of the movie, Bathsheba, was actually a real person once. She lived on the property bought by the Perrons (or the Cronins, however you prefer to think of it) and she was rumored to be a Satanist. Although, it was never proven that she was responsible for the death of her own child, or any child, like the movie suggests. She also did not hang herself in the backyard of the house, though it did add a nice twist to the movie.

But we don’t really care about how true the movie is, the fact that it is based in any form of truth is cool, but that’s irrelevant. We are here to discuss a fabulous movie.

In the last blog post, we discussed a little bit about the characters from the Conjuring, and we are now entirely up to speed on the fact that Debbie is my favorite character. But the rest of the movie is not about Debbie.

In The Conjuring, a family moves into a new (very large) house. This family owns a dog. This is an important fact because the dog refuses to go into the house at all cost. Now for all dog lovers, I’m sorry, but for some reason the writers of this movie felt it necessary to have the dog die the first night the family is in the house. This is honestly the most tragic thing ever and I hate that it happens, but the rest of the movie is great and no dog was actually killed while filming.

After the dog dies, a lot of other strange stuff begins to happen. The clocks all stop at 3:07 am and the doors bang together at night. There is also a scent of rotten flesh that moves around the house. Besides this, Cecilia starts sleep walking again and Francesca found a music box that shows her a little boy that isn’t actually there. This boy talks to her. His name is Rory. After this goes on for awhile, Stephanie Cronin gets fed up and some how comes into contact with Ed and Lorrain Warren.

It is unclear how she found them, but it’s a very good thing she did.

Ed and Lorrain go to the Cronin household and ask the family questions, but it is clear to Lorraine that there was a very not nice spirit living in the house. Tragically, they need permission from the Vatican or whatever to do an exorcism, so Ed and Lorrain, along with Officer Brad and this nerdy Asian guy named Drew all stayed in the house with the Cronin Family.

It is at this point in the movie that the greatest montage to ever exist occurs. I don’t know how to explain it and do it justice, but it was fantastic. There was quality music and it was placed very strategically. It was a nice break from the tense feeling that something terrible was about to happen.

This part also had the only dialogue reference to when the movie is set, where Sophia was flirting with Drew and she says “Groovy”. It’s literally the only time when slang is used and it is so out of place, but it’s also so funny so no complaints here.

After the fun montage, Officer Brad decides to go to the bathroom and he accidentally rings a bell, freaking out the rest of the house. This was a cool demonstration of how the director was able to build suspense, because everyone thought there was going to be a jump scare, but it was really just Officer Brad. The only negative thing I have to say is that when the girls found the basement there was no door to a bathroom there, and then Officer Brad comes out of this random never seen before door, so that was weird.

We will continue this discussion of The Conjuring with the third installment, coming to us soon.

More Horror Movie Fun

This may become a series

My absolute favorite movie ever is The Conjuring. My best friend Josh Booth and I have seen The Conjuring eighteen times. This is an absolute fact. We counted. Obviously, this makes me an extremely qualified expert on the movie so you should all listen to me.

The Conjuring is a very different brand of horror from Saw. The Saw series is a hilarious brand of bad. The cinematography is terrible, the acting is worse, and the characters are actually all the same person just with different names. That being said, Saw is great for other reasons discussed previously. The point is, Saw is bloody, not scary, while The Conjuring is scary.

Funnily enough, Saw and The Conjuring were directed by the same person, so it’s strange that they’re so different, but that’s irrelevant. It was just a fun fact.

If you plan on seeing The Conjuring soon, or ever really, maybe refrain from reading further since I actually suck at not spoiling things.

The Conjuring is part of a series, and the series is part of a larger universe that includes movies in the Annabelle series and The Nun. This gives the movies an interesting depth, and as the first in the series, The Conjuring did a pretty good job in setting up the rest of the rest of the movies.

In the first seen of The Conjuring, we have the pleasure of meeting my personal favorite character, Debbie.

Debbie does not have many lines and she is completely irrelevant when it comes to the rest of the movie, but she was still my favorite character. Mostly because her name was Debbie and I thought that was hilarious the first time I watched the movie.

Basically, Debbie was in possession of the Annabelle doll, and we are introduced to her as a way of also introducing Ed and Lorrain Warren, two of the movie’s protagonists.

Ed and Lorrain are like ghost busters, but they’re super religious and also Lorrain is a clairvoyant, so the movie has some fun catholic undertones.

The movie then cuts to a fun family moving into a new house. There are seven people in this family, two parents and their five daughters. They also have a dog. The first time watching The Conjuring Josh and I could not remember the names of the girls so we gave them fake names. I now do not know the actual names of the characters, so I will give you their fake names and that’s just what we are going to call them now.

The dad is called Peter Cronin and the mom is Stephanie Cronin. Sophia is the eldest daughter, then there’s Bella, Claire (named after me because she had short hair), Cecilia and finally, the youngest was called Francesca. If you have seen The Conjuring and you know their actual names, please let me know, it’s kinda embarrassing to have seen the movie 18 times and not know their names.

Also, side note, but Peter Cronin is a truck driver. He is the only source of income for this family. What I would like to know, is how they are able to afford this house. It is in the middle of Rhode Island, it has four bedrooms, is quite large and also has a ton of land to go along with it. It’s also right by a river. So this family has a small mansion right on the water, and they’re paying for it with a truckers salary. And I’m sorry, I may be uneducated, but I was not aware that truck drivers made this much money. I may be considering another career path.

Now let’s discuss the excellence of The Conjuring. They were able to build suspense so very well with their use of sound. The background music/noise or whatever you want to call it would get very loud, then dead quiet, then very loud again when the things happened. I don’t know exactly how they did it, but they made moments that would otherwise not be scary quite terrifying.

Also, the game Hide and Clap is honestly the greatest invention ever brought to us from a movie. My friends and I now play all the time, but we’ve changed the rules. In The Conjuring, one person is blindfolded and they’re allowed to ask the hiders for three claps. If they aren’t able to locate the hiders, they lose.

My friends and I have changed the game slightly. We made it so that hiders can move around while the seeker is searching, but they can’t leave the room if the seeker is in it with them. In addition, the seeker can only ask for claps when standing in a central point where the game is being played. For example, in Josh Booths house, his dining table is in the center of the ground floor. So in order for him to get claps, he must be touching the table. But he has unlimited claps, so this is not really a problem.

It sounds a little weird here, but I promise it is super fun.

This is definitely going to be a series because I am not done talking about The Conjuring. My apologies.